


21 questions

by cjmasim



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017-2018 NHL Season, Angst, Break Up, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Unhealthy Relationships, charlie is a total asshole in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 14:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16020269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmasim/pseuds/cjmasim
Summary: "Have you cheated on me yet?"The bye week has come and gone, and Charlie's barely talked to him since he got back. Still, Jake doesn't know why he blurts it out."What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Charlie snarls, and Jake regrets it immediately, but he doesn't back down."What you did to Auston – you're going to do the same thing to me, aren't you?"Charlie walks out, slamming the door to Jake's apartment without another word.





	21 questions

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is entirely based on the song [21 Questions by Waterparks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9-YylGA9s8), and if you haven't listened to it, I highly recommend it. I started this fic over a month ago after listening to that song for the 1000th time and feeling all the feels, but I was stuck for a while until I got a burst of inspiration last night and wrote the whole thing in one go, so yay for that!
> 
> I'd say I'm sorry for making the first (exclusive) Jake/Charlie fic on ao3 so angsty, but I'm really not lmao. Angst is fun. 
> 
> If you are or know anyone represented in this fic, you really don't want to read this. This is a work of fiction and that's all, even though some of the events did happen in real life. 
> 
> Enjoy!

1  
   
-  
   
"Do you have a crush on anyone?"  
   
Jake laughs. "Bro," he says. "We're not in middle school."  
   
"Hey, you're the one who wanted to play twenty questions," Charlie says.  
   
"Fine," Jake sighs, rolling his eyes. "Maybe I do."  
   
"Oh?" Charlie's grin is wider now, and he moves closer to Jake until their bodies are pressed together on the couch in Bergy's living room. They're close enough that Jake can feel his heart beating, and he's starting to wonder if this is really just bros when Charlie whispers, almost inaudibly. "Who is it?"  
   
"It’s my turn to ask a question," Jake replies, and he's proud of himself for keeping his voice as steady as he does.  
   
"Then ask me one so it'll be my turn again," Charlie says, louder this time, and Jake gulps.  
   
"Do you believe in ghosts?" Jake asks, trying to shift the topic of conversation.  
   
"Nope," Charlie says simply. "Who do you _maybe_ have a crush on?"  
   
-  
   
2  
   
-  
   
"What if we get caught?"  
   
"Don't worry," Charlie whispers, putting his mouth back on Jake's. They're in the alley right outside Bergy's apartment, having left early under the guise of wanting to get some sleep. Anyone could walk outside and see them, but as Charlie's tongue works his mouth, Jake finds that he really doesn't care.  
   
Several minutes pass before they break apart, Charlie's hand on Jake's waist indicating that he wants to go further, but they're still in public, and Jake really doesn't want to rush things. Charlie hasn't even said anything since Jake's confession, has only kissed him and brought him outside. Jake doesn't know what Charlie wants out of this, but he knows he wants more than a hookup.  
   
"We could go back to my place?" Charlie suggests, running his hand up Jake's spine, and even though Jake really wants to talk to him, he figures it can wait.  
   
-  
   
3  
   
-  
   
"Who's calling?"  
   
Charlie declines the call and slides his phone back into his pocket, then answers Jake's question. "Auston."  
   
"Again?" Jake asks. "Didn't he call you earlier?"  
   
It's been a week since they first hooked up, and it's already become somewhat of a regular fixture in their lives. Jake is at Charlie's apartment once again, still getting his clothes back on.  
   
"Yeah," Charlie shrugs. "It's not important."  
   
"Are you guys that close?" Jake asks, not wanting to drop the subject.  
   
Charlie sighs. "He's my boyfriend."  
   
-  
   
4  
   
-  
   
"Do you want to get lunch later?"  
   
They're in the locker room, having just finished practice, and Charlie is leaning against Jake's stall.  
   
"Yeah," Jake answers easily, smiling brightly. "That'd be great."  
   
"Sweet," Charlie grins back, turning and walking back to his own stall. Jake wonders where they're going, but he doesn't ask.  
   
-  
   
5  
   
-  
   
"Have you broken up with Auston yet?"  
   
They're at lunch now - Charlie had chosen a Vietnamese place near Warrior - and it's been three days since Jake found out that his hookup - no, friend - well - Charlie - isn't actually single.  
   
"No, fuck," Charlie sighs. "I keep forgetting."  
   
"How do you keep forgetting?" Jake asks, voice rising a little, and he tones it down before he continues. "I mean, isn't it kind of a big deal that you're - you know -"  
   
"Yeah, I know," Charlie says. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, I'll just do it right now. Then you can be all mine, officially."  
   
Jake's heart flutters. "Okay," he says, though when he thinks about it, maybe he should have encouraged Charlie to at least call his now ex-boyfriend. It's too late now; the text has already been sent.  
   
-  
   
6  
   
-  
   
"You nervous?"  
   
It's the night of their season opener, both of their regular season NHL debuts. They've finished getting dressed, earlier than most, and are waiting to go out for warmups.  
   
"Never," Charlie replies, and sure, okay, he at least has some experience in the big show.  
   
"Me neither," Jake says. He tries to convince himself that it’s true.  
   
-  
   
7  
   
-  
   
"What're you going to do with yours?"  
   
The game has ended now, and any trace of anxiety Jake may have had earlier is long gone, washed away by the euphoria of scoring his first NHL goal. Charlie had gotten his as well, so it's only natural that they pose for a picture together.  
   
"Haven't thought about it," Charlie says, taking his hand back from around Jake's waist once the photographer says that he's done. "Any suggestions?"  
   
Jake thinks of his family, of his dad crying after he scored his first goal - he still needs to look up the video of that, because he isn't even sure he believes it - and knows what he's going to do with his own puck. But he can't make the decision for Charlie, so he merely shrugs.  
   
-  
   
8  
   
-  
   
"Are we boyfriends?"  
   
It's taken a few weeks for Jake to get the courage to ask, not wanting to deal with the embarrassment if he were wrong, but they're on an actual date at a nice restaurant and he just really needs to clear things up.  
   
Charlie laughs, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course we are," he says.  
   
"We've never actually said it," Jake defends himself, and Charlie smiles at him.  
   
"It's cool, I just assumed we were. I mean, that's what you want, right?"  
   
"Of course," Jake says. “More than anything.”  
   
-  
   
9  
   
-  
   
"If I make a tweet during the NBA finals saying that Golden State's going to win but LeBron's going to catch the snitch, would that be funny?"  
   
It's November, not even close to the NBA finals, but it's not as if there's any doubt as to who's going to make it, and Jake likes to plan his tweets in advance sometimes.  
   
"Why are you thinking about that now?" Charlie asks, and it's a fair question, considering that they're watching _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ , not an NBA game, and the movie is one of Jake's favorites. "But yeah, that'd be pretty funny."  
   
"Sweet," Jake says, already getting out his phone to draft the tweet. He never ends up sending it.  
   
-  
   
10  
   
-  
   
"Are you going to be okay?"  
   
Charlie's just gotten back to Jake's apartment after a meeting with the team doctor about his heart, and Jake has been sitting on the couch trying not to have a panic attack. It's been a few days since Charlie started to feel the effects, and at this point, Jake is starting to think that not knowing is worse than any of the possible outcomes.  
   
"Yeah," Charlie answers, setting his bag down. Jake is overcome with relief, and for the first time since Charlie told him about his heart, he feels like he can breathe normally again. "It's nothing life-threatening, or all that serious, just an abnormal heart rhythm," he explains. "I can keep playing, but there are some significant symptoms if it comes back, so they're recommending I get a small procedure done."  
   
Jake's heartrate picks up again. "A procedure?"  
   
"Not an actual surgery," Charlie clarifies. "Just an ablation. I'll only have to miss a couple weeks at most, and once I get it done I'll be perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about."  
   
"If you're sure," Jake sighs, slowly beginning to breathe normally again.  
   
"I'm sure," Charlie says, coming to sit next to him, and they spend the rest of the afternoon cuddling and half-watching ESPN.  
   
-  
   
11  
   
-  
   
"Why'd you do that?"  
   
They're in the car now, riding back to Charlie's apartment after the game. They won the game, but Charlie doesn't seem too happy about it.  
   
"He can't just hit you like that," Jake says. He hadn't meant to get in a fight, knows that being in the penalty box for five minutes isn't helping the team, but when he saw Charlie go into the boards, not getting up right away, especially after the recent news about his heart, well - something just snapped.  
   
"I don't need you to protect me." Jake flinches, Charlie's voice harsher than he's ever heard it.  
   
"I wasn't thinking," Jake says, quietly, and Charlie snorts.  
   
"That much was obvious."  
   
They don't speak for the rest of the night.  
   
-  
   
12  
   
-  
   
"How does it feel to be the most popular man in Boston?"  
   
It's Charlie's birthday now, and they're leaving the arena after the game. Charlie had scored a shootout goal to secure victory for the Bruins, and even now, neither of them could stop grinning, too high on the victory.  
   
"It feels fuckin' amazing," Charlie shouts, and they're at a red light, so he leans over and kisses Jake on the lips before the light turns green.  
   
Charlie's just gotten back to his side of the car when the light turns, and maybe Jake presses the gas a little harder than he really should on this street, but he doesn't think about it as Charlie plugs in his phone and puts on his favorite song , turning the volume all the way up and singing along at the top of his lungs with the windows down despite the December cold. Jake watches the road as best as he can, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't sneak a glance at Charlie every few seconds, the smile never leaving his face.  
   
-  
   
13  
   
-  
   
"You got any plans for the bye week?"  
   
Jake doesn't have any plans of his own, but they only have a few weeks until it begins, and they haven't talked about it at all.  
   
Charlie shrugs, not looking up from his phone. "I was going to go somewhere with a few of the NTDP guys."  
   
"Oh," Jake says, and the conversation ends there.  
   
-  
   
14  
   
-  
   
"Have you cheated on me yet?"  
   
The bye week has come and gone, and Charlie's barely talked to him since he got back. Still, Jake doesn't know why he blurts it out.  
   
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Charlie snarls, and Jake regrets it immediately, but he doesn't back down.  
   
"What you did to Auston - you're going to do the same thing to me, aren't you?"  
   
Charlie walks out, slamming the door to Jake's apartment without another word.  
   
-  
   
15  
   
-  
   
"Want to invite Pasta and Gryz over for Fortnite?"  
   
They're hanging out for the first time since the fight, and Charlie's only been over for half an hour before he apparently grows tired of playing with only Jake.  
   
"Sure," Jake agrees, even though he doesn't really want to, because the one thing he wants even less than to invite Pasta and Gryz over is to start another fight.  
   
Their teammates get to Jake's apartment quickly, and Jake tries to pretend he isn't jealous when Pasta and Gryz sit on either end of Charlie, sandwiching him away from Jake. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn’t.  
   
Charlie doesn't say a word to Jake that isn't about the game.  
   
-  
   
16  
   
-  
   
"Why haven't you texted me back?"  
   
Jake had texted Charlie earlier in the day to ask if he wanted to go out that weekend to celebrate their four-month anniversary. Charlie read the text almost immediately, but he still hasn't replied, and now that they're at practice, Jake figures he can try to get an answer.  
   
"I've been busy," Charlie says, and Jake has seen his Instagram story, so he knows he's been playing Fortnite again. "I can't, though. I have an appointment with the trainer this weekend."  
   
"Okay," Jake says. He wants to say that there's no way this appointment can last all weekend, but he's starting to lose hope that Charlie's ever going to show interest in him again.  
   
-  
   
17  
   
-  
   
"This seat taken?"  
   
Jake stands in the aisle on the plane, waiting as Charlie takes out his earbuds.  
   
"Uh, yeah," Charlie answers. "Sorry."  
   
Jake nods, walking further down, and sits in the back, next to Danton. They exchange greetings, and watch different movies, not speaking again until the plane lands in Vancouver.  
   
-  
   
18  
   
-  
   
"Have you done anything with Pasta?"  
   
Charlie laughs. "Have I done anything with Pasta?"  
   
"Yes," Jake says, not laughing. "You know what I'm asking."  
   
Charlie sighs, returning his face to a neutral expression. "Yeah," he says, providing no further explanation.  
   
"Were you ever going to tell me?" Jake asks, shaking a little, though whether from anger or grief, he isn't quite sure.  
   
Charlie shrugs. "Pasta wanted me to, but I kind of thought you already knew."  
   
"And you thought – what – that I wouldn’t care?”  
   
"Yeah," Charlie says again, and looks back down at his phone.  
   
“We’re done,” Jake says, walking out. He wants to say that he doesn’t look back, but he does, and Charlie isn’t even watching him leave.  
   
-  
   
19  
   
-  
   
"You getting back to playing soon?"  
   
It's the first time they've spoken since the breakup. Charlie's injury made it easier for Jake to avoid him, but now that he's back to practicing with the team, he knows they'll have to speak at some point, so he may as well be the one to start it.  
   
"Hopefully," Charlie says, not looking up from the skate he's unlacing, and Jake goes back to his own stall.  
   
-  
   
20  
   
-  
   
_Proposing this early?_  
   
Jake had just been scrolling through Instagram, trying to get his mind off of the numbness, when he saw Charlie's latest post. He had already seen the picture of him and Pasta, of course, had tried and failed to forget it, but the caption - "#ISaidYes" - only made it worse.  
   
_So?_ Charlie texts back, and Jake doesn't reply.  
   
He wants to reach out to Pasta, warn him that getting involved with Charlie will only end badly. Maybe he could even get Auston involved. Hell, maybe Auston even knows of someone else who had gone through the same thing. Jake has learned by now that Charlie's not a big fan of commitment.  
   
He doesn't, of course. Pasta's not an idiot. He can figure it out on his own.  
   
_Or maybe_ , his mind supplies, _Pasta's different. Maybe he'll take this relationship seriously. Maybe Pasta's the one_.  
   
Jake tells the voice to shut up and opens YouTube. Maybe cute dog videos will distract him.

They don’t.  
   
-  
   
21  
   
-  
   
"When will it stop hurting?"  
   
It's just after 7:00, the first day after the Bruins were eliminated, and Jake is more than a little bit drunk. He's alone in his apartment, beer bottles stacked on the coffee table in front of him, and he's well past the point of being able to stop himself from calling Charlie. He doesn't pick up, of course - probably too busy with Pasta - so Jake ends up leaving a voicemail.  
   
"I miss you," he says without thinking. "I thought we had something. Something… something special. But I guess I was just - too stupid. Too in love, or something."  
   
The automated voice tells him his time is up, and Jake hangs up, letting the message send. He gets up, walking over to his window. His apartment is nice, and the view is even nicer, though it's hard to appreciate when things are so messed up. Jake pulls back the curtain, seeing that the sun is beginning to set, and it really is very pretty, the reds and pinks and purples over the Charles River.  
   
Even as drunk as he is, the sight sparks something in him, and he calls Charlie back.  
   
"You know what else?" He says to his voicemail. "You know how people always say the sun is this bright, warm, beautiful thing that just makes everyone feel warm, safe, happy, all of that? You were - you were my sun. But you're not the real sun. The real sun -"  
   
The automated voice cuts in, telling him that his time is up once again, but Jake ignores it.  
   
"The real sun can't be replaced, but you can. And I'm going to have to do that."

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on [tumblr](http://www.cjmasim.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [21 Questions (the Changing My Answer remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18366242) by [blueorangecrush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueorangecrush/pseuds/blueorangecrush)




End file.
